this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
