my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
