i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
