there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
