wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
