I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
