your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
worst night to have a conscience
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
