AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
