I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
