Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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