I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
