Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
