i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also, beer. Big fan.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
