They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
