My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
