We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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