so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
