New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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