if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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