You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
