clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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