You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize