I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
