He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
