I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
