I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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