How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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