he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
