i can't believe i had my finger in that
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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