There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
