4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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