Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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