Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Boobs are out for the taking
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
