i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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