Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
