omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
