Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
