I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
