I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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