He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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