drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
