is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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