I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the day after is always just damage control
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
