yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
