and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
