Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
