If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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