ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
