dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
