Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
