this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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