there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So squirting runs in the family.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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