fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
