Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
