ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
