i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My breasts were aching with rage.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
