i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
