Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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