Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
