I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
